It's been a little while since I last wrote a post and there are some things that I have been experiencing and thought I would write about them.
I'll start with the not so positive things. First, and I know I have mentioned this before, my butt HURTS!!! It's getting really old. I can't sit anywhere for any amount of time without my tailbone just hurting. I have gotten rid of the padding so there is no buffer. If I have been sitting for a little while and go to get up I have to do it very carefully because the relieving of the pressure makes it hurt too.
I never thought about the fact that disposing of so much pain. I guess as an overweight person I didn't realize what would happen when I lost the majority of my padding. Sleeping can be a challenge most nights because I can never get comfortable. I toss and turn A LOT! Sleeping on my sides causes my hips to hurt really bad, as well and my knees becasue of it being bone on bone when they are together. Before I disposed of the weight I was a belly sleeper and now there is no way I can sleep like that. Sleeping on my back has proven to work the best however sleep doesn't last long because my tail bone starts screaming after a couple of hours.
On a happier note....
I can fit in a bath tub now!!! I never could take baths prior to the weight disposal becasue I just simply didn't fit and couldn't fill the tub with water. Now on the other hand I fit in the tub and can fill it with water and take nice long relaxing baths! Man was I missing out before!
I am also wearing smaller sizes! It's a little odd only because my body has shrunk but my mind hasn't. In my mind I am still the size 28 fat girl I was prior to disposing of all that weight! One of my greatest friends who I call my bonus sister, and I went to the mall the other day. I need some new dress pants. As I was walking around the store and holding things up to me I picked a skirt up in a size that in my mind would be WAY too small. I held the skirt up to my body and it was perfect. It is is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that my clothes are getting smaller. I even said that to my BS and in reply she said, "YOU are getting smaller. You don't see it, but I see it!!"
This post has kind of been all over the place and for that I apologize. These are things that have been tumbling in my head lately and I just needed to get them out. In no way shape or form did I mean to complain in the beginning part of the post. I just always promised to talk about the good, bad and ugly of this process.
I am so grateful that I have been given a second chance at my health and that has and always will be the number one aspect of this whole journey!!
I don't care what size you are or what shape you come in, remember to love yourself and who you are. Sure there are things that we all wish we could change. If it bothers you that much make a change...if you aren't willing to make the change then don't complain and embrace where you are, for if you don't love yourself first then no one else can.
Let's see where else this journey will take us....
